Am I blue?

Revving up for a race with my good friend Z

What’s the point in having a blog about anxiety and depression if you can’t write about how depressed and anxious you are every once in a while? Is it the nip in the air, the change in routine or is it just my depression-prone mind that’s leading me to go to bed too early, procrastinate beyond reason and read super-smutty romance novels instead of interacting with my family and friends? I don’t know what it is, but damn, those ROCK HARD books are rocking my world WAY more than 50 Shades of Grey ever did.

It feels like lately I don’t really want to get up in the morning, I’d like to lie in bed all day and look out the window. I’d also like someone to serve me some diet coke and Reese Peanut Butter Cups while I’m up there. But they’d have to be quiet because I don’t really want to talk to them. Or anyone for that matter.

Isolation is one of my classic depression symptoms. There comes a time in this whole twisted cycle where the energy it takes to go to the school and chat with other moms while I wait for my kids is just too much. When going to a party and mingling is like, the last thing I’d ever want to do and when calling a family member just to talk is a ridiculous idea. I’m there right now. And I don’t know why.

Don’t fret, dear friends, I’m not at the f-#ked up stage yet, just grouchy. I’m trying to be proactive. I’ve signed up for a running clinic with my friend Z, I’m trying to blog more (because bitching about how sad I feel really does help, you know?) and I’m trying my darndest not to stay in every night of the week.

How do you battle the blues? I’m always afraid the black and blues are just around the corner, so as soon as I feel this niggle of angst pressing on my chest I want to run for the hills. Or the spa. Whichever comes first. Am I the only one?

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