Top 11 break-up anthems

Listening to the perfect breakup anthem can take me right back to the day of a split and mend my ripped up heart and deliver the finger directly to the dude who stomped on it all those years ago. In my experience, this is not something that goes away with age or time, after all, it’s been ages since I broke up with anyone. Bet even though time truly does mend a broken heart, the perfect breakup anthem can rewind time. As I was surfing the interwebs today I came across a list of the best break up songs ever and thought I’d compile my own power playlist. Some of these songs are from a time when my heart was in shreds, others just remind me of some of the jerks I’ve loved and lost when I hear the lyrics.

No, I won’t name names… although, one day… when I write my tell all biography, I swear I’ll reveal all the dirty details. Yeah, I’m talking about you, ugly!

1. Asshole, Denis Leary It’s about this average guy I used to know, I’m fairly certain he’s the kind of guy who might use public toilets and piss on the seat.

2. Ugly, The Violent Femmes There was this guy who I liked and he liked me, but not at the same time. Then one day, I woke up and I was like, man. He’s not cute at all. In fact, he’s SOOO ugly!

3. Creep, Radiohead Oh creep. You were one nasty piece of work. But Johnny Depp. He’s not. Although I’m sure Vanessa remembers how bad his breath was in the morning or how he didn’t cut his toenails for long periods of time. Guys are kind of gross sometimes. Even Johnny Depp, I bet.

4. Meryn Cadell, The Sweater “You’re looking for the boy of your dreams who is the same boy of the dreams of all of your friends.” That’s exactly who I had a crush on in Gr. 13. Alas, I was not the girl of his dreams. My friend was.

5. Somebody, Depeche Mode *Sniff* It’s just… *sniff* you know…so beautiful. More highschool angst. The kind where he wrote in my yearbook and called me all summer and then he switched schools.

6. Someone Like You, Adele This song makes me relive every breakup I ever had in under five minutes — but, you know, in a good way. It came out long after the drama in my love life was over but it can throw my back there within a few bars. I love this version from the Brits, 2011

7. Nothing Compares to You, Sinead O’Connor If you are a child of the 90s, you too have slow danced to this song in high school gymnasium, or was it a cafetorium?

8. Love Hurts, Nazereth This one just makes me want to do the ugly cry.

9. No Woman No Cry, Bob Marley Yeah, well, no man no cry too Bob. It’s a two way street, know what I’m sayin’?

10. Cry me a River, Justin Timberlake JT apparently wrote this about Britney after she cheated on him. I feel so voyueristic just watching the video, I feel like I was there — the girl even looks like her!

11. It’s Oh so Quiet, Björk It was oh so quiet on the day this guy wrote me a heart-wrenching letter that let me know just what a bitch I can really be.

 

Do you have any breakup tunes that take you back, waaay back?

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