For the first time in what feels like forever, the hubs and I went on a date last night. It was SO nice. Me, him, a bunch of other people… So much fun. I don’t get out much these days and when I do get out, it’s usually in yoga clothes. It was lovely to embrace my femininity for a few hours. To get my hair done, wear false eyelashes and revel in my curvaciousness. Is that a word? I enjoy being a girl and days like yesterday remind me of that.
I was reminded of a few other things last night too, namely the dark ages of our marriage. I guess every marriage has its unspeakable time. The time when being married almost felt like more work than fun. The hubs’ old boss was there and I was sent spinning back to the time when we had three kids under four and he was traveling (usually out of the country) at least four days a week. Conference calls at 3 a.m. and emails into the wee hours of the morning. It sucked.
Careers are a hard thing, aren’t they? I know other people who work that hard and do it well — the hubs, his dad before him and his mom who was able to hack the responsibility of raising a family on her own much of the time. I’m sad that I almost crumbled, that I couldn’t stand by my man in the face of a future that promised more of the same. Because I think he might have liked it.
But being married to a workaholic almost broke me. It almost broke us. I found his old job too hard and so he changed it for me.
Sometimes I have a pity party for myself and I think “Oh man, if I still lived in Toronto I could still work at a magazine and I could work all the time and it’s such a fun job and blah blah blah…” I slip into selfishness and I start to forget that I’m not the only one who’s given up things for this life we share. Our kids are a huge deal to both of us and working all the time isn’t the way we want to raise them. Plus we have the luxury of choice. We’ve both made choices and look what we got because of those choices! We have this wonderful life. These wonderful goofball kids and a marriage that’s stronger than before.
It’s not all sunshine and lollipops all the time but every now and then I get a beautiful date night. I get to be a girl instead of a mom, a maid, a chauffer. And I love it.